Mommy knows best

**WARNING**

 This post will be very long...but its main purpose is to help me process emotions and help anyone else who may be dealing with anything similar.

This week, I experienced my first (of many) moments in life where I had to stand up for my kid. And it felt really good when I felt I was actually heard and got what I felt was best for my sweet EJ. 

The past 6 months have been filled with over 30 speech therapy (ST) and 10 occupational therapy (OT) sessions for EJ which has all helped him grow in so many ways. But, if you know anything about Early Intervention (EI), you know that at age 3, the program ends and if you qualify through your local school system, you can continue with services there. 

So on Wednesday, I sat in a meeting at Madison City Board of Ed where I was the parent instead of the social worker....Advocating for my child in a room full of people where only 2 others had actually met him. I love advocating for others and have done so almost daily for the past 5 years. But I don't believe any knew my occupation as they kept asking if I had questions or understood the process.  They asked what I felt his "strengths and needs" were among other developmental concerns. I honestly never thought I'd be on this side of the table listing my own son's strengths and needs, but it was surprisingly a  good feeling to have those things listed. 

Then the part of the meeting came where we had to discuss what evaluations we felt EJ needed to have. The lady (psychologist) leading the meeting kept focusing on EJ's speech/ communication difficulties and kept ignoring the comments from the EI service coordinator and myself (the only ones who actually KNOW EJ) about our concerns with sensory and behavior. Even after a 2nd psychologist said she would do a full developmental screening, the lady STILL wasn't on board. 

Finally, she looked at me (a 2nd time) and asked what I felt. I had already stated that I wanted any and all evaluations available for my son if that would help him. But this time I had to really step up to the plate and lay it all out there. 

The words that came out of my mouth next were words that I have only let come out of my mouth maybe once or twice before. Words that are very hard to come to grip with, hence the tear-filled eyes that came with them. "To be honest, I have come to the realization that a lot of the problems EJ is experiencing are going to last longer than just age 2 or 3. I feel there are things that we are going to be having to deal with throughout his life, and I want him to get the help he needs now if he qualifies."

Finally, the lady agreed and began checking all of the possible evaluations on the forms for him to receive. I think she then knew she was dealing with a very passionate momma who wasn't backing down. I told them that I understand he may not qualify, and that's okay...but at least we would know what "level" he is on, or what other things to expect. 

We pretty much know he will qualify for speech, as we're still not quite "there" yet. He has a very large vocabulary now, and repeats almost anything and everything you say. However, the clarity and pronunciation of his words are still very poor. He continues to talk with his mouth closed, or from the back of his mouth/ throat. 

Words he does say are so so sweet though. I'm amazed everyday at what all he does say. He can say some complex words like octagon and crocodile almost perfectly, but can't say others like truck or more. I don't understand a lot of it, but his ST and OT both say it has a lot to do with his oral sensory stuff and tongue movement. We're working on making silly faces in the mirror among other things there. 

As far as the "sensory issues" and behavior concerns we have, I'm still not exactly sure what to think about them. EJ is a very active boy, and I've been told that he is much much more active than the typical 2 year old. He wakes up at 5am daily and is ready to go from the moment his feet hit the floor. Some of my main concerns in this area are how he has meltdowns/outbursts if things don't go as planned. When I say this, I understand that toddler/ preschool aged children are known for this type of behavior, but the OT and other EI staff will also tell you that this is beyond what's typical. TheHubs and I often struggle with discipline (which we do very consistently) as we don't know weather he is simply having a meltdown and needs to be redirected or calmed or if he is misbehaving and needs direct discipline.  Sometimes this is easy to distinguish between, but other times its a guessing game. 

OT has done wonders for EJ in just the past 3 months. Prior to that time, he was sleeping in the floor, and waking in the middle of the night several times a week. Now he sleeps in his own bed (with blankets on top of him) for the entire night (7:30-5:00).  And yes, we've tried altering bedtime/ nap schedules to help with that 5am wake up call, and NOTHING helps. 

EJ also responds very well to time out now, and I feel this has helped significantly with his behavior. Our babysitter really helped get this rolling and has been great about consistency at her house too. She's seriously the time-out queen. lol

We are now working on creating a "sensory diet" for EJ including various activities for him that help get his energy out and focus on proprioceptive activities. This means that our couch cushions are often on the floor or we stand on our coffee table to jump onto the couch at times as well. So if my children come to your house and start to do these things, you tell them no and put them in time-out if needed.....and curse their parents for being so crazy and allowing them to do these things at home. 

We also have a huge box in our playroom where he is supposed to calm down. We're still working on that because he doesn't exactly like to get in the box and stay. The weighted blanket has saved him from spankings and time outs in the evenings as those are some of his most wild moments. He loves to sit with his weighted blanket and put puzzles together. (He's a genius with puzzles by the way!)

Of course I wouldn't change a single thing about our little monster. He's the sweetest little guy I know and adores his sissy more than anything else. He melts my heart more times a day that I can count...but also makes me want to pull out my hair at times. What kid doesn't?!? People often ask me how I am able to handle having a 1 & 2 year old and I always say "One day at a time." That is the only way I'm able to do anything. One day...with the grace and mercy given to me for that day from my Heavenly Father. 

Maybe I'll have an entire post about MissPriss very soon. She's a handful herself as well. =)

Talking Toddler...sorta

It's been a while, and for those who don't know me may have a lot of catching up to do in order to figure out what's been going on in the Hick's family the past year. But I really do hope to blog more often (and actually make the time to do so) and share all of the fun things around here. 

EJ has begun speech therapy, and just had his 3rd session this morning. He is now 27 months old and really doesn't have a vocabulary of more than 2-3 "words" which technically aren't even "real" words. He jabbers all. the. time.  And he has done so since before his 1st birthday, so we just kept thinking the words would eventually come. But they never did.

So after the holidays and really realizing how far behind he is after seeing him around other kids his age, we made the decision to go ahead and call the Early Intervention program in our area and have them come test him. As a Social Worker, I wonder why I didn't make this decision a looongg time ago, but I really try not to dwell on that thought much. Our pediatrician (whom I will not be going back to) told me at his 18 month check up that I didn't need to worry until he was 2 years old. And then when I brought up his lack of communicating well/ no words at his 2 year check-up, she told me that we should wait until he was 2 and 1/2 because he would very likely start saying words as soon as she made the referral for speech. So I really think I held on to the false hope that she gave me instead of trusting my own intuitions as HIS MOTHER. 

Early Intervention (EI) came out on January 22nd for EJ's developmental screening. They looked at every area of development, and he was on track or ahead of every area except speech/ communication and cognitive development. They told me then that they could see that his lack of being able to sit still and focus was probably the main reason he wasn't learning to talk. 

So speech began 3 weeks ago today, (on Feb 3rd) and I couldn't be more proud of my little fellow for all the progress he's made! He is learning to use sign language right now as means of communication, and he knows how to sign open, more, eat, drink, finished, on, and we're working on learning others. I'm amazed at how much his behavior has even improved since learning to communicate with us better. 

He used to bang on the table, walls, etc when trying to get us to get him "more" of something, but now he just stands there and does his sweet little sign, putting his fingers together and even sometimes going "mmmm". 

He progresses each week during his therapy, and it seems that as soon as the session is over, I can see light bulbs going off and he's doing something new on his own. This week, he imitated some of the sounds of words Ms. Maura (his therapist) made, and even did some of the signs on his own. Both of which are huge improvements, and one step closer to him learning to form words!

God has taught me soooo much throughout this journey. But I think the main thing I've realized is that I can do nothing on my own. I have to truly turn to Him in prayer about every single detail of my life, and my children's lives. Being a mother is such a great way to be humbled and molded into the image of Christ. I'm being taught that more and more every day. 

Now to go get the babies up from their naps and enjoy the chaos for the afternoon.

Maturing

TheHubs said something today that I have seriously never heard him say. And I'm still not exactly sure how I feel about it.

While in the car together, kids in tow and headed to the zoo, he looks at me and tells me I look "old". After I gave him a rather weird look, he back-tracked a bit and said that I look "old-ER" and eventually changed it to "more mature". 

Excuse me???

I'm pretty sure he was trying to be sweet about it all, but his vomiting of the mouth didn't quite come out the way he had planned. At least that's what I'm pretending. He did say the words "sexy" and "beautiful" somewhere in there too, so that makes things a little better. 

I mean, I'll admit, I'm not the young thang I was 6+ years ago when we started dating...but I've never really thought of  myself as "maturing" or looking "older". 

My response was, "Thanks, I guess that's what having 2 kids the past 2 years will do to ya." 

Haha...I blame everything on child birth. Ev-er-y-thing. 

So just for funs, here's some pics I found. One from June 2007- (a few days after our 1st date) and the other from earlier this summer.  I guess I have "matured" a bit. ;)

The sniff

During every diaper change now, I have to tell EJ that his "little weewee" is not going anywhere, and that there is no need to touch, hold, hit, etc.

Weeeeelllll....... Of course the 100% boy he is, he never listens, and gets a laugh each time mid- diaper-change.  And just now, I promise you, he did something I thought I wouldn't see for a long time.

He had his beloved blanket  and "scratched" with blanket in hand.

Then came the shocker.


He sniffed!!!!!


What? Yes! My son just did the ol' scratch-n-sniff.


Where in the world do they learn these things??

Because God loves me...

In reading my devotional for today from "15 Minutes Alone with God" I came across this beautifully written paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13 by Christian psychologist Dr. Dick Dickerson.
My devotion for today challenged me to read this aloud to myself each morning and evening for the next 30 days.  The author said that it is "important to believe that we have value and that we are worthy to give of ourselves. This begins by knowing and accepting what our heavenly Father believes about us"

Here's the paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13 by Dr. Dickerson. I've added the parentheses to the end of each sentence to show which part of 1 Corinthians he is describing.

Because God loves me, He is slow to lose patience with me. (Love is patient) 

Because God loves me, He takes the circumstances of my life and uses them in a constructive way for my growth.  (Love is kind)

Because God loves me, He does not treat me as an object to be possessed and manipulated.

(It does not envy)

Because God loves me, He has no need to impress me with how great and powerful He is because He is God. Nor does He belittle me as His child in order to show me how important He is. 

(It does not boast, It is not proud. It does not dishonor others)

Because God loves me, He is for me. He wants me to mature and develop in His love. 

(It is not self-seeking)

Because God loves me, He does not send down His wrath on every little mistake I make, of which there are many.  (It is not easily angered)

Because God loves me, He does not keep score of all my sins and then beat me over the head with them whenever He gets the chance. (It keeps no record of wrongs)

Because God loves me, He is deeply grieved when I do not walk in the ways that please Him because He sees this as evidence that I don't trust Him and love Him as I should. 

(Love does not delight in evil)

Because God loves me, He rejoices when I experience His power and strength and stand up under pressure of life for His name's sake. ( but rejoices with the truth)

Because God loves me, He keeps working patiently with me even when I feel like giving up and can't see why He doesn't give up with me too. (It always protects)

Because God loves me, He keeps on trusting me when at times I don't even trust myself. (always trusts)

Because God loves me, He never says there is no hope for me, rather, He patiently works with me, loves me and disciplines me in such a way that it is hard for me to understand the depth of His concern for me. (Always hopes)

Because God loves me, He never forsakes me even though many of my friends might. (Always perseveres) 

Isn't it so cool to know that we are loved that much?!?! I have honestly never read this passage of scripture, and thought about the characteristics of love in that way. I've always thought about them as things I should be doing to demonstrate love. 

Such refreshment to read such a commonly read scripture in a completely different way...

God LOVES me (and you!) in each of these ways. Despite my sins and failures. Now I am to show that same love to others. No matter the hurt they have done to me.....after all, Christ continues to love me throughout all I've done to Him.

Struggles

Ever have those days moments where you feel like you just can't get ahead?? And you wanna just throw a mini- pitty party but even that sounds no fun...and something would probably go wrong there too. Ha!

Welcome to my day today. Well, I don't really think it was the events that actually happened today as much as it was my attitude and struggle to overcome my hormonal mess. (Can I still blame moodiness on hormones 5+ months after giving birth?? I mean, I AM still nursing...)

I think the fact that I'm working everyday but Wednesday this week is part of it too. It takes me all week to get laundry caught up and the place clean from when I just work weekends, so today I really wanted to get things semi- done so it wouldn't be total chaos by the end of the week.

Wwweeelllll.... I think I forgot for a split second during that thought of "gonna get everything done today" that I have 2 kids under 2. And unlike a few weeks ago, they do NOT have the same nap schedule. MissPriss naps at 10ish and 2ish. And EJ naps at 12ish. Which means..... Yep, you guessed it... No more time alone during the day.

So I'm having to learn to get things done with EJ's "help". He really does a pretty good job at laundry and dishes. I'll have to get better at posting pics so y'all can see his big-boy help. He just can't figure out that the clean/dry clothes are ok to be OUT of the dryer instead if IN the dryer. Or that dirty dishes go in the dishwasher, not the cabinets. Haha!

So ok, back to today. It ended with me (finally) showering and getting groceries. Only after getting kids bathed and in the bed. My feet are exhausted, bottles aren't washed for tomorrow, and there are dirty dishes in the sink because the dishwasher didn't get unloaded today. Aannddd... No clothes are ironed/ ready for work tomorrow and no lunch is packed. 😫
And apparently I didn't get enough groceries because TheHubs has been looking in the kitchen for 10 minutes now asking what we have to eat. He finally decided on chips & salsa... But seriously, there's plenty of food. Men. Need I say more?

It's such a struggle to stay positive. To not let Satan have a foothold and win in the battle of attitude. Especially for me. But I'm so gracious for a God who forgives ... And a husband who continues to love even when I'm not lovable. The struggle is daily but I must press on. With His strength only will I finish the course set out before me. 

His mercies are new every morning. Praise God for that. 

MissPriss' arrival (4 & 1/2 months late)

Little MissPriss 

AKA "Lyla" Kate

Born: 2/5/13

12:09pm

8lb 4oz

21 1/2 in long

And here are a few pics from the big day and the weeks following. 

Proud Papa (my dad)

Uncle Alan (my brother)

Mawmaw (my mom's mom)

Proud Nana (Thehubs' Mom)

The GREAT uncle (my Mom's brother)

Me & my babies!

Aunt ShaSha & Uncle Steve (TheHubs' sis & bil)

Silly boy loves getting in her crib with her

First smiles- 5 weeks old

MissPriss' 3rd cousin loving on her 

5QF

Hey y'all! It's FRIDAY!! So hop on over to My Little Life for 5QuestionFriday! 

Enjoy!!

1. Have you ever been robbed and how did you handle it?

Nope, I've never personally been robbed. However, that does remind me of the crack-head neighbors we had growing up who we're pretty sure broke in our house and stole a few things. One being our really cool video camera. You know, the kind back in the 90's that had the little mini tape, that you had to put inside of a bigger tape to fit in the VCR.

Yeah....you youngins wouldn't understand...

Ohhh and that one time a few years ago my parent's house got broken in to and demolished by the crazy psycho neighbor lady who apparently had a mental break-down. She busted out windows and glass....threw pictures around everywhere and just literally went crazy in there. Didn't take a single thing though. That was crazy.

Maybe my parent's just have bad luck with neighbors...hmm.

But me...thankfully no robberies here. Let's keep it that way.
2. What do you do at a kids function when Parents don't behave? Meaning they are the ones being impatient and rude.

Considering my kiddos are under 2, I haven't really ventured into the kids function world. I'm sure my days are coming...and I'm sure to encounter rude parents. I'll probably just ignore them or try and keep the situation calm and under control. That's what social workers do anyways. Just make sure the kids are safe. Ha!

3. Have you heard of a potty party? Will you/have you had one for your child(ren)?

Seriously never heard of such....should this be something I look in to???

4. How young do you think kids should be when they start taking swim lessons?

Well, EJ is 19 months, and I've seriously thought about starting him in some soon. Maybe this time next year would be better so he wouldn't scream and pitch a fit the whole time. But I really think about 2 is a good age. I'd MUCH rather EJ know how to swim and know what to do if he fell in the water than for him to have no clue....

5. What makes you happy?

The sound of my kids laughing. I could seriously listen to that all day long. And seeing Thehubs smile. I love my family and love to see them happy. Yep- that makes me happy!!

Big boy bed

Life has officially gotten very interesting around here. As if having two kids under 2 wasn't interesting enough. Mr. EJ decided this week to conquer the task of climbing out of his crib. He did this several months ago, and fell on his way out and didn't attempt again until yesterday. And boy did he succeed. Three times!!

We have always been so very blessed in the sleeping business with him and so we just lay him down for nap and for bed and he goes right to sleep (usually). So you can imagine our terror when we made the executive decision to turn his crib into a big boy toddler bed.

TheHubs made the switch Tuesday evening and we caught the big reveal to baby boy on video- no pics.  oops.  Night #1 in the bed was pretty scary for this mamma. I attempted to be all big and bad and make him lay down by himself, but decided after about 2 minutes that he needed me to lay down with him until he fell asleep. Yeah....that lasted an hour. 

I was beginning to be afraid that my evenings would now be spent in attempts to sneak out of the oh so uncomfortable toddler bed without waking EJ. Not to mention what I feared nap time would become. 

So Wednesday I became nap-nanny and was determined to accomplish the task of having him fall asleep by himself and stay in bed. I succeeded after an hour of "nap" time spent with him playing quietly in his room. I then let him out (he sometimes doesn't take the early nap) and we ate lunch and played a bit.  Then came the 2nd attempt to nap time.

And THIS happened!!!!!

Yep, he fell asleep all by himself!! I was so proud! Of both of us!

Night #2 went pretty flawless. I read him a bedtime story and kissed him goodnight. He followed me (crying) to the door, and I laid him back down and gave him a kiss goodnight (again). Didn't hear from him again.

However, I did hear cookie monster talking several minutes later....but then nothing. 

Tonight is night # 3 in the big boy bed and it went just the same as the 2nd. We're still working on nap times. I haven't quite decided if I should just let him play quietly (and rather sneaky) or make him stay in his bed and go to sleep.  I'll figure that part out though. 

For now, I rejoice that he's doing so great. Waking up happy and even playing in his room for a bit before I get him up (out?) in the mornings. What a big boy!

Oh the adventures!

Every time I'm in public with both kids I must have that look on my face that says "Please talk to me and tell me how sorry you feel for me." Because I am guaranteed to get at least 1 comment about how I have my hands full, and how they don't see how I survive.

Case in point, I took both kids to the doctor yesterday.

All by myself.

TheHubs usually goes with me, but he had to work, and after already having to miss an appointment, I wasn't about to reschedule again. So I started mentally preparing myself for the trip the night before, trying to think of every scenario of what could go wrong and how I would handle it.

I also had to strategically plan how we would walk there. Yes, you heard that correctly. W.A.L.K.

Now, before you think I'm absolutely insane, let me say that our pediatrician's office is located at the entrance to our apartment complex. So the walk isn't really any further than the walk to our mailbox, which we do a few times a week.
 But since EJ has gotten into mega-independant, throw-a-fit-at-everything-mode I was a little more concerned than I would have been on any other day. But I figured it out.

So I start loading them up about 20 minutes before our appointment time. EJ in the stroller and MissPriss in her front baby carrier. We were off and on schedule. 5 points for mommy!!

We arrive to the doc (6 minutes early!) and begin the waiting game. Enters comment #1.

A sweet mommy comes and sits down with her 2 angel girls...ages 2 and 3 months. Mommy was dressed in what I believe to be running attire. And the 2 girls, in little pink dresses. Smocked.

She looks at me and says something to the natures of having my hands full and that she doesn't see how I do it.
Each time this comment is made to me, I simply say that I take it one day at a time. I also try and make a point to say that I am very blessed to be in my shoes, as I know there are tons of women who would kill to have kids and can't.

She somehow got called to the back about 15 minutes before us.  I keep thinking that one day we'll get called back as soon as we walk in the door so they won't have to see/hear my child run around the waiting room.

Yep, EJ goes cR@zY when he gets out of the house these days. He stayed in the stroller long enough for me to get them signed in and fill out the 18 month questionnaire form. Then that was it. I did the swap and put MissPriss in the stroller and let him down. Chased him back and forth from the well-child area to the front door a few times. Finally, I decided to block of the entrance to the well-child area with the stroller and a chair. It worked. The sick area was pretty full and I didn't want EJ to bug them more than he already had. It was just us and a weird teenage girl with her grandma that were in there so I made the executive decision.

We got called back a bit later and the chaos THEN began. EJ wouldn't let anybody touch him. I guess he's starting to remember that he gets poked and prodded there and he doesn't like it. The sweet nurses were helpful and getting them undressed and all checked out. DrB was also great in letting me know that she's very used to the chaos. EJ pretty much screamed cried the whole time somebody was in there with us.

I even had to wrestle him like an alligator to get his diaper back on after being checked. I think I'm getting pretty good at this alligator wrestling thing. It's become a hobby of mine- toddler style.

Both kids are perfectly healthy- even EJ's eating habits of popcorn chicken & fish sticks is of no concern at this point.

EJ-- 35" long, 27 lbs
MissPriss-- 25", 12lb 13oz

After all the poking was done, we make our grand exit. I think the look I saw on the staff's faces was that of relief. I see that look a lot as we're leaving places....


Stay tuned, I have many MANY more adventures to write about this week. And it's only Tuesday!!

5QF (a little late)

Ok, so I know I'm a few days late, but I still wanna try and do 5QF each week. So here goes. You can link up too HERE! 

1. What is an acceptable age for girls to start dating?

Geeze, do I really have to think of that now?!?! MissPriss is not even 4 months old yet! Well, she's 3 days shy of it, but still...

I wasn't able to date until I was 16. And not a day early. My dad was very adamant that this was the rule in our house. I always tried to "finagle" my way to go out with friends- which were often guys. But nope...

So I guess I'll stick to 16. I know TheHubs and I will get some flack from being "old fashioned" on that, but oh well. 


2. Do you think your kids should have summer homework?

Well, MY kids don't have summer anything....and I hope they never have to. Our goals/ plans are to homeschool the kiddos when that time comes. 

But in general, I've never ever understood summer homework. I mean, seriously!?!


3. Would you prefer to live without AC or heat?

Ummm....neither!!!! No AC in Alabama- I don't think so! But if I had to choose, it would definitely be heat. You can only take off so much clothes, but you can always bundle up more.


4. What the worst thing about staying in a hotel? (Besides not being with your family)

The nasty comforters on the bed. And the hair dryers. Can they not invest in better hair dryers??? 


5. So, do your kids really get "104 days of summer vacation"? (Bonus points for those of you that get this reference!)

I have no clue on this one. But once again, my kiddos aren't school aged yet so I dunno. I'd have to phone a friend on that one... hahaha!

So I hope you've all had a fabulous weekend! Mine was spend working (as I do EVERY WEEKEND).

Yep, while everybody else in the world hates Mondays and loves Fridays....I hate Fridays and can't wait for Monday!

But one day I wont' have to work....thanks to my hard working hubby love.

Happy Monday (tomorrow)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5QF

It's time for Five Question Friday. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly to get the picture to be the link to her blog. So just in case that doesn't work, CLICK HERE see 5QF's post. :) Enjoy and Happy Firday! 

1. Do you wake before the alarm or stay in bed until the last possible second?

You mean my 3 1/2 month old baby girl alarm? If that's what you're referring to, then I sleep past the alarm and get up at the last minute. Like, wait until she's about to get really mad and start screaming- then I dart in her bedroom to shush her before she wakes up big brother.


2. Who should get a baby shower? Is it just the first baby or all babies?

Since just having 2nd baby, my views on this have changed. I used to frown on those having showers for the 2nd baby - especially when they're close together- but now I completely understand the necessity. I wasn't given a baby shower for MissPriss and if it weren't for a sweet nurse @ work giving me lots of clothes, then she'd have been stuck wearing lots of boy clothes. 
And there are just other necessities that are needed for each baby- especially if they're different genders.

At the minimum, a diaper shower. That would have been helpful as well.

3. How will you spend Memorial Day?

Oh I'm so very excited! I just hope things go as planned in my "perfect world". My
Parents are coming up and we're all planning to go to the park and hang out. We took EJ and MissPriss today and he loved it! I'll have to post pictures of the most awesome playground ever next week.

4. Do you have a Storm/Hurricane/Tornado/Fire plan for your kids, house..?

Not really. Last time there was a tornado warning for our area, TheHubs & I loaded the kids up last minute and headed to none other but Walmart. We walked around with the kiddos in the buggy for a little while, then they made everybody go to the back of the building and stay until the warning passed. 
Very entertaining, I might add.

Growing up, our plan was very similar. Wait until the tornado has been reported down a few miles away, then jump in the car and hall tale down the street (a few miles) to the friend's basement. Then stay until it passed. 

Maybe we should develop a plan better than Walmart....

5. What is your favorite morning drink?

Water. Yep, H2O. Either that or milk. But I only drink milk if I'm eating breakfast. Ever since giving up soft drinks in high school (long long time ago), I have been a water girl. Seriously, I feel all groggy and tired if I haven't had my ice cold glass of water.
Don't judge. =)

The Joneses

Keeping up with the Joneses. What does that mean anyways?

Wiki says this:
"the comparison to one's neighbor as a benchmark for social caste or the accumulation of material goods. To fail to "keep up with the Joneses" is perceived as demonstrating social-economic or cultural inferiority."

Phrases.com says this:
"Strive to match one's neighbors in spending and social standing."

10 years ago...even 5 or 6 years ago, your neighbors were those with whom you had direct contact with on a day to day basis. People you worked with, people you lived near, people you went to church with, friends, family, etc. However, today your "neighbors" (the Joneses) can be anybody on the planet. Thanks to the internet, mainly social media, we are bombarded with "the Joneses" in ways we never imagined.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Keek, Path...and the list goes on.

We consume ourselves with social media. We feel the need to post every move we make so the world can see. Pictures posted within seconds, tweets tweeted as soon as an event occurs. We sleep, eat and breath social media. Sometimes literally.

Let me be the first to say I found myself buried deep in the pit of this chaos. My thoughts were often status updates on Facebook, I snapped pictures of my kids' every adorable move to post to Instagram. I never got in to the rest of the stuff, but mainly because my addiction was consumed enough with what I already had.

Sadly enough, I was checking fb at 2am when I would wake briefly to put MissPriss's paci back in her mouth. I was waking 1st thing in the morning to see if anything had happened since that 2am fix. I had my phone by my side 24/7 looking at it constantly. I was looking at other people's profiles and finding myself subconsciously (and a lot of times consciously) rejoicing in other's failures, and being angry or jealous at their successes. It's very humbling to even admit to some of this stuff.

It wasn't until TheHubs & I were talking one night about why I had begun a spiral of depression that I realized and vocally stated what I felt was the culprit. Nope, it wasn't post-partum-depression (which was what he had initially blamed it on)...it was social media consuming me.

It was me trying to "keep up with the Joneses". I was jealous at the moms who were taking their kids to the park everyday, or the wives getting to have a lunch date with their husbands. I was jealous at the flowers and beautiful gifts ladies got on Valentine's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, and "just because". But at the same time, I was laughing at divorces that were taking place and "stalking" others to find out the gossip of who was having an affair with whom. And smirking at such sin, such filth taking place.

I was consumed. Big time.

I felt like I wasn't good enough if I didn't take EJ on a walk everyday, or have good fruits and vegetables for him to eat everyday. (And unless popcorn chicken and chips count, then I'm a big fat failure on those standards.)

I felt angry about having to work weekends instead of getting to spend it with my family like everybody else.

I dreaded each holiday as I knew everybody would post wonderful pictures of all they were getting to do, when I knew me and Thehubs were just lucky to see each other or be off work together.

My emotions could go from good to bad with just one post by someone...

As TheHubs and I talked that night, he agreed that I was consumed.  So after I said that I probably need to "quit", he quickly agreed. So we got the lap top, sat on our bed and I ever so slowly "deactivated" my account. No warnings for my friends...no big announcement or anything. I just did it. Because I knew if I didn't do it then, then I never would. Even as we were in the process, I was making up excuses for why I shouldn't. Wondering what I would spend my time doing now, or how I would know what's going on in the world.

But I (we) did it.

Yep, I've been "sober" from Facebook for almost a week and it's actually been quite nice. I haven't asked TheHubs, but I hope he would say my depression tendencies and sour attitude has diminished. I am no longer having stuff thrown in my face to be jealous at.

After all, who puts the dirt and grime of their lives for the world to see anyways??

I will say I've chosen to keep my Instagram. I feel like I have more control over that, and plan to dwindle it down to only close friends and family who I follow and who follow me. Simply to keep up with our lives a little better.

Freedom. Exhilaration. Relief.

So now the hard part of staying focused- keeping my eyes on Jesus and being consumed by Him each day begins.


Ephesians 6:10-18
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. "

....

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people."

Adventures of EJ

Where in the world does the time go? It seems like yesterday I was giving birth to my firstborn. Then I blinked a few times, and now I'm sitting here with my (almost) 3 month old in my lap, and an (almost) 18 month old in his bed sleeping. Seriously...life is surreal.

Let me just talk (write?) about Mr. EJ and catch up on what all he has been in to here lately. He is absolutely a mess pot. Nothing he does surprises me; I just have to laugh at most of it to keep from having a melt down and crying.

About a month ago, I was determined to take both of the kids to library toddler story time. What in the world was I thinking, I don't know, but I did it. We get there (all in one piece) about 10 minutes before story time, so I went and plopped down at the back of the rug-which I assumed would be the back of all the other people that would come later. Well, you know what happens when you assume things....

MissPriss did great- she just looked around everywhere in her car seat and didn't make a peep. EJ on the other hand, well he had to go check out the cabinet at the front of the room that contained music equipment and open and close the doors a few times. He also found an outlet protector thing, which he loves to play with at home.
Story time started, and I was just hoping he would somehow miraculously sit still and be good. WRONG! He did like the song they sang at the beginning. All the other kids and mothers knew the words and motions, and I went right along with it, helping EJ do the motions and pretending to know exactly what was going on. Well, I was never really good at pretending...

So EJ then decided he needed to go look out the door that was at the front of the room, and he sorta kinda wanted to help the teacher, but was scared to get to close to her. So he just kept going to the front of the room back to the dog-blessed cabinet.  I kept getting up and weaving through mothers and their goody-two-shoes little "toddlers" to get my child.

 (By the way, shat kind of toddlers sit still for 20 minutes? NOT MINE!)

After about the 3rd time of retrieving my son, I decided it was time for us to go. So I made my way back through the MIDDLE of the crowd of 25-30 mommies and their oh-so-perfect children, and got my daughter (whom I may have just left in the middle of the room) and we left.
Needless to say, the librarian at the back of the room gladly held the door open for us as we made our grand exit.

I laughed on the way home thinking about how great of a story I have to tell.

We haven't returned.


Here's another good one for you. And trust me, I don't make this stuff up.

One morning I went to get him out of bed only to find that he had taken off his pants & diaper. I walk in to find a 1/2 naked boy grinning from ear to ear. A drenched diaper and some poo in the floor. Yep, had to laugh....

Going to church has been yet another adventure. He now knows where we are when we walk in the door. He wraps himself entirely around my leg, as I attempt to walk, all the while also carrying MissPriss and her suitcase bag. I'm afraid before long, he's going to figure it out when we drive up, and refuse to get out of the car.

He hates it. Which, I understand because it's the only time he's away from family. I mean, we just drop him off and run for it. He screams bloody murder as he ladies so graciously take him and care for him while we go to the service. They have informed me that he is doing a little better. Thank God! He apparently let them change his diaper without screaming. (Didn't know he had gave them a fuss about that...) She also said he stops screaming a little sooner each week, which is progress.

This past week, they got out play-dough for the kiddos to play with. Well, EJ apparently found it more entertaining to play with the containers, making sure each of the lids were on them. He put the lids on and off the entire time instead of playing with the play-dough. Poor child....

Some of his "normal" favorite things to do here lately are turning on and off the light switch, throwing toys over the safety gate into the kitchen, opening and closing any kind of container, and of course closing any and every door in the house.  He's also started taking wipes or napkins and "cleaning" things. That's pretty adorable actually.


I swear he's OCD....if he sees that I've left a door cracked, he has to ruuunnnnn real quick and close it.

We now have a bedtime routine down pat. I'm sure everybody's routine goes as follows:
Go into bedroom, he has to close the door behind us (of course), pick up all of his stuffed animals and throw them into his crib one by one (takes for.ev.er.), closes closet doors, then gets into bed. Before we leave the room, he's trowing out his stuffed animals until it's just him and his blankey. The beloved blue blankey. Heaven forbid when that thing starts to deteriorate. Good thing we have 2 that are just alike!


Every day is certainly an adventure. I often say that if DHR gets called on us from something happening to MissPriss, that I promise it will be from the abuse she received from EJ not me or TheHubs. She has been hit, slapped, stepped on and sat on...and survived it all so far. She's one tough cookie. More on her (and her high maintenance prissiness) later.

Until then...

Catch up on EJ

Just a few random facts about little EJ and all he is now getting in to- number style. Ohhh he's a mess. We try to capture some of it on camera, but of course he stops as soon as we try. Maybe one day...




1.  The number of naps he now takes per day.

2.  The number of his books he has destroyed. So far.

3. The number of cookies, crackers, etc. he has to have at 1 time-one for his mouth, & one for each hand.

4.  The number of full-fledge-fits he probably throws per day. As in, flop back on the floor, hitting his head and everything and screaming to the top of his lungs. I just look at him and walk away....

5. The number of spankings it usually takes in a row for him to figure out he's NOT supposed to be doing something.

.......


15. The number of wipes he can pull out of the package in a matter of seconds.

45. The number of seconds it takes for my son to figure out how to open his closet doors and take out all the clothes mommy just put up.


Other random things he's in to:

* Climbs on EVERYTHING- coffee table, high chair, couch, baby gate, etc.
* He goes running to the gate at the top of our stairs every time he hears the door open (which is at the bottom of the stairs)...especially when mommy or daddy comes home.
* He gives good ol' full open-mouth kisses. The kind that gets slobber all over your entire face. Their delicious. =)
* He hits. A lot. But it's out of excitement- so I'm not exactly sure how to make this stop.
* He loves pretty much anything you feed him. Except real fruit...guess it's a texture thing.


He melts my heart every day. Thehubs and I are so very blessed to have him as our son! He turned ONE just a little over a month ago, and I know before I blink again, I'll be planning his 2nd birthday party!

Little sister will be here very soon...like within 5-6 weeks soon!! EJ has no clue what's going on, but I know he'll be the best big brother!

We're here!

Well we've officially been at our new place for almost a week now. So far so good. The week has absolutely flown by, which I didn't want to happen. I start my new job on Monday, and will be working full time (M-F) for 5-6 weeks being trained.

Let me just say that I haven't worked 40 hours out of the home ever. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. I'm a little scared about this, but at least I know that there's an end in sight and will soon be working weekends and staying home with my baby boy during the weeks. Soooo yeah, I know I'm going to be absolutely exhausted- especially since my lower back feels like my right hip is dislocated at times when I'm on my feet. Hopefully I'll get used to it pretty quickly. And of course I know it could be much much worse!

Back to the new place. It is sooo much bigger and EJ has loved walking around EVERYWHERE. We've had to purchase a new baby gate because we have stairs. It's kinda weird...we are an upstairs apartment, but instead of the stairs being on the outside of the building, you enter our front door at ground level, and then their's a small foyer area with stairs that go up to the apartment. It's really pretty with high ceilings and everything, but not so safe with a toddler walking everywhere.
So I found an "extra wide and extra tall" baby gate from Target, and TheHubs installed it last night. It makes me feel MUCH better, and lets just hope EJ doesn't try to climb on it any time soon.

In baby news, I'm now 23 weeks along, and feeling good for the most part. Little Miss is growing well, and moving all the time. Yeah, it's a girl...I don't think I even posted about that experience. Maybe I'll get around to that one day. She's already going to think I'm a horrible mom because I haven't even taken any "belly pictures" while pregnant with her....and I think I took them about 1x per month with EJ. Oh, well, 2nd baby syndrome  I know. lol

February is quickly approaching and I can't wait to meet her!! Can't believe we're about to be a family of FOUR!

Leaning on Him

Emotions have been getting the best of me here lately. One minute, I'm so excited about the big move, and another, I'm petrified and crying.

I know Satan is certainly trying to win the battle of my mind, and captivate my thoughts. It's a tough battle to fight these days. And without me filling my head (and heart) with scripture as I should, he does win (briefly) at times.

I put in my notice at work, and as of October 4th, I will no longer be employed with Gateway. I've been with them almost 3 and a half years (which is a long time in the Social Work world), so it's going to be bitter sweet to leave. They're definitely a wonderful company to work for....

With that being said, I've applied for about 15+ jobs in the Huntsville area. I still have several other places to look into thanks to the recommendations of so many people helping me out. Job hunting freaks me out a little...you know, especially since I haven't done it since being fresh out of college, and since I'm pregnant and everything.
I KNOW the law says I can't be discriminated against, but come on...you know pregnant women often are when it comes to job hunting.

THEN comes the financial side of moving.....

We are getting a "moving expense bonus" or something like that from Thehub's work, so that will certainly help. But on the flip side, I think of all of the deposits for our utilities as well as the fact that we're pretty much having to pay rent in 2 places for the month of October...PLUS the whopping "early termination fee" for breaking our apartment lease.

"Any other worries?" you might ask. Well of course!!!

You see, here in the Bham, we have some family support. My brother lives close and helps out occasionally as well as Thehub's mom and my cousin. Without the 3 of them, I'd probably have gotten fired a long time ago from my job for not being able to do everything.
In Huntsville.....we'll have NOBODY!! Thehub's mom says she will come when needed, but probably won't be able to make the drive every week as she does now.

So daycare/ Mother's Day out it is. I've already prepared myself for this, and honestly it's not a huge concern right now.  Once I get a job, that will be another story. Did I mention I'm having a baby in February, and that would mean TWO in daycare of some sort?!?!?!


So those are the thoughts that run wild in my head, and bring me to tears everything I let them consume me. But you know what? My God is bigger than those issues. My God knows what tomorrow holds despite all of my "what ifs".  I am trusting in Him to provide all of these things.

We know He is leading us to Huntsville, and has opened so many doors already. He will continued to provide for us.

This morning at church, we sang an old hymn that literally brought me to tears. It came to mind one day last week as I was singing EJ to sleep...so I sang the chorus to him. I think God just knew I needed to be reminded of it once again today.
I don' think I've ever had to trust The Lord as I am now.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms- click HERE to listen.

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms?
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.




So I think I will just LEAN on Him.....

The unknown

The unknown is one of the scariest things if you ask me. Not knowing where you will be living in the next few months...yep, one of the biggest things that freaks me out.

Thehubs has known for about 2 months now that there would be a possibility that he would have to relocate for his job. Granted, we wouldn't have to go far...we're talking about 2 hours from where we are, but the possibility has been there, but it's all been left out in the open and a whole bunch of "what ifs".

Without getting into all of the details, there has been talk of him getting one of 2 or 3 different positions, and only 1 of them consisted of us having to move. But it started out being the strongest possibility, and would dwindle away several times....and back again.

Just in the past week, I've went through the emotions of the whole moving thing being tossed back and forth. Thehubs was told that he pretty much would be placed at one of the positions here locally, and then BOOM the next day he was told that the other one was "hot" again.

You see, he's in the security business, and is an Account Manager right now. His goal one day is to be an Operations Manager, and we're so almost there because he is SUCH an amazing hard worker!!

So today, I've been looking at apartments in the area which we will very likely have to be moving (Montgomery). It's all kind of hit home and I'm trying to accept it.

Our original plans were to just move about 1/2 way there and I would keep my job, and we would still be fairly close to our parents. But his boss informed him today that he needed to be within 30-40 minutes of the place in case something goes wrong. (i.e.  in case he has to go in and cover for one of his employees that didn't show up, or go take care of something they screwed up).
So there goes the plans....again.

I mean really, God, I PROMISE I'm learning trust....I don't think I need any more life lessons.=)

We haven't "broken" the news to anybody yet...mainly because nothing is 100% certain. (which is what's DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!)

Today is August 20th as I write this, and I'm not sure when we'll know for sure. Until then, I'm thinking I'm just going to begin preparing to move. And I've been realizing how much this entails.

*Changing doctors (possibly even my OB...would I have to deliver Baby2 at a dif hospital1?!?)
*Finding yet another church (just when we're starting to find our niche here)
*Finding friends
*Me and my job....I have NO CLUE what I would do...
*Childcare?!?!?
*Being about 3 1/2 hours away from my family
*Being 2 hours away from Thehub's mom
*Figuring out a new area

I mean, I know people do it all the time, but this little mamma has only moved from home to college (as far as major city changes) and has never ever had to make such "adult" decisions such as this.

Lots or prayer has been taking place. We'll see how it all plays out.....eventually.


******UPDATE*********

On Sunday, 8/26 TheHubs got a phone call that changed everything. An Operations Manager resigned in Huntsville, and he was offered that position. DUH, that's been his goal all along, so he jumped on it.

So I get a text while at a Bridal Tea that day saying "Well I'm an ops manager now"

Since then, we have found an apartment up in that area, put in our notice where we are now, and I plan to put in my notice at work tomorrow morning. They sorta know I'll be leaving, and I'm pretty sure my boss is very much aware now since I asked to meet with him tomorrow morning about something.

PLEASE PLEASE be in prayer about my job. I've applied for several positions already, and continue to look daily for social work positions in that area. TheHubs will be able to do a lot of his work from home, but childcare continues to be a huge concern for me as well.

As I've told several people over the past week, if I were to actually sit down and stress about all there is to figure out, I'd just curl up in the fetal position and cry. It's a lot that has to be figured out, but I know God is leading us here and has already provided in so many ways.

Some realizations I've had about moving is that, yes I'll have to change pediatricians for my kiddos. I'll also be changing area codes, which freaked me out a little....AND news stations!!! WHAT?!?! No more James Spann when tornadoes are coming!?!?! I just don't know how we'll survive!!

Good news is that we're almost doubling our living space, and will have a 3 bedroom/2 bath apartment! Praise Jesus for more room!!!



I'll try and continue to update as things get closer. Oct 19th is the tentative move-in date. TheHubs wants to move sooner though because he's having to drive back and forth almost everyday until then.

So in the next 5 months, we'll be moving, I'll hopefully get a new job, we'll celebrate EJ's 1st birthday, AND I'll be having ANOTHER baby!! :)

What an adventure!!!

Here we go again!

Yep, here we go again. I'm knocked up. Again. Pregnant....just 6 months after giving birth to my 1st born.

This is not exactly how Thehubs and I planned our lives, but it is definitely all how God planned it! Just when we think we have everything under control, BOOM, God assures us that HE is still the one in control, and that I don't need to try and do anything without him.

This definitely came as a humungous shock to us, especially after having THREE false negative home pregnancy tests. I sorta just knew something was going on, and that I had to be preggers since Mother Nature has never ever let me skip out on her monthly visits my entire life.

So what happened was..... I weaned EJ off of the boobies right around his 5 month birthday (in April)....right about that same time, I straight up, completely and totally forgot to get my BC filled to start taking it after Mother Nature's visit.
I didn't realize this until about 5-6 days after I was supposed to start the pack, and at that point it was too late to start. We both decided that we didn't even like the effects of birth control (it always made me sick) and that SURELY we wouldn't get pregnant just this one month of being off of it since it took us a while to get pregnant with EJ.  We decided to just "be careful."

Apparently, you're Fertile-Myrtle when your wean your baby....

Well well well. Here we are. I'm 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant (although I won't post this until MUCH later).
When MN didn't come after 2 days, I took a hpt and it was negative...then about 3 days later I took another. Again, negative.
So then I bought some DIGITAL ones, but at this point I was a week late, and determined to get an answer (which I already knew in my head.)

So I took one of those....NEGATIVE again!!! What in the world is going on with me!?!? I remember telling Thehubs that either I was pregnant or the bc messed up my body and I wasn't going to have periods anymore.


Well, Tuesday morning (May 29th) roles around and I woke up at 4am and had to pee. I have NEVER had to pee in the middle of the night other than when I was pregnant, so I knew something was going on. I know that morning pee is the "best" so I decided to take one more (final) hpt.

This time, I'm washing my hands, and waiting with squinting eyes and anticipating what I know is about to happen...

It says "Pregnant"!!!!! What? Where's the "not" that was in front of that just 3 days ago!?!?!?!?

So what does any insanely freaked out mamma do at 4 am when she discoveres she pregnant and going to have 2 kids 14 months apart??? She wakes up her husband with huge eyes, and tells him.

He tells me not to panic or cry, and then instructs me to get back in bed with him, where he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

Let me just stop here to say that during that moment, I remember feeling so weak in the knees I thought I would faint while walking from the bathroom to the bedroom. I seriously have never experienced that deep of an emotion of "Oh my goodness, what are we going to do?" until that moment.

So I lay there in bed wide awake, with Thehubs sound asleep and hold me tightly....thinking.

"God, I can't handle this."
"How can I handle TWO babies? I'm just now getting the hang of ONE!?!"
"I'm going to have to quit work..."
"How can we afford for me to quit work, what am I thinking??"
"We've GOT to find a bigger place to live. There's no way I'm living in this TINY apartment with 2 kids!"

And so on and so forth my mind raced....

But then, it's like all of a sudden God reassured me, saying that HE is still in control, and that I need not worry about anything. HE has it all planned out already, so I just need to rest in Him and let me give me the strength I need to get through each day.

So I did....and I have been. I do have my moments where I get really tied up in the selfish thinking of how my life is about to get 10 times more difficult, and that my body is about to experience everything all over again when I'm just now starting to feel normal again..
But I'm always reminded that there are so many women who would love to be in my shoes, and who are just begging to have 1 child. So I thank Jesus for this opportunity and I pray for strength.


I know that this baby is being formed in my womb for God's glory, and that he or she will be another huge blessing in our family. It's all still very hard to believe and to take in, but I can't wait! EJ is going to be such a big brother, and my prayer is that this baby is healthy and loving just like his/her big brother!

Here we go.....January 29th is the big day (tentatively).

=)


UPDATE:

Now the word is out, after I kept my mouth shut for about 6 weeks. We went to the Dr on June 29th for my ultrasound that I demanded requested to have to make sure it wasn't twins I was only as far along as I thought. I have gained weight my quicker (which is apparently normal for the 2nd time around) and was just concerned that I was further along than expected.

So the ultrasound actually showed that instead of being 10 weeks (at the time), that I was actually only 8 weeks! My due date was bumped back to February 7th, and I was kinda relieved that we have 2 extra weeks to "prepare"....haha yeah right.

HOWEVER....I've been SOOO terribly sick, that I wish I had those 2 weeks back and was now 12 weeks instead of 10. I would be seeing the light at the end of the 1st-trimester-tunnel but now I have several more weeks left.
With EJ, I think I started feeling better around 14 weeks, so I guess I have about another month.

TheHubs did find something to semi-cure this morning all day sickness. POWERADE!! It's done wonders!


So also at 10 weeks (what I thought was 12), my emotions are much more in tact about having this 2nd baby. We're so excited, and I can't wait to see what adventures live brings! I've heard the 1st year will be chaos, but I know it will fly by!!

10 weeks down....30 to go!