Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Here we go again!

Yep, here we go again. I'm knocked up. Again. Pregnant....just 6 months after giving birth to my 1st born.

This is not exactly how Thehubs and I planned our lives, but it is definitely all how God planned it! Just when we think we have everything under control, BOOM, God assures us that HE is still the one in control, and that I don't need to try and do anything without him.

This definitely came as a humungous shock to us, especially after having THREE false negative home pregnancy tests. I sorta just knew something was going on, and that I had to be preggers since Mother Nature has never ever let me skip out on her monthly visits my entire life.

So what happened was..... I weaned EJ off of the boobies right around his 5 month birthday (in April)....right about that same time, I straight up, completely and totally forgot to get my BC filled to start taking it after Mother Nature's visit.
I didn't realize this until about 5-6 days after I was supposed to start the pack, and at that point it was too late to start. We both decided that we didn't even like the effects of birth control (it always made me sick) and that SURELY we wouldn't get pregnant just this one month of being off of it since it took us a while to get pregnant with EJ.  We decided to just "be careful."

Apparently, you're Fertile-Myrtle when your wean your baby....

Well well well. Here we are. I'm 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant (although I won't post this until MUCH later).
When MN didn't come after 2 days, I took a hpt and it was negative...then about 3 days later I took another. Again, negative.
So then I bought some DIGITAL ones, but at this point I was a week late, and determined to get an answer (which I already knew in my head.)

So I took one of those....NEGATIVE again!!! What in the world is going on with me!?!? I remember telling Thehubs that either I was pregnant or the bc messed up my body and I wasn't going to have periods anymore.

Well, Tuesday morning (May 29th) roles around and I woke up at 4am and had to pee. I have NEVER had to pee in the middle of the night other than when I was pregnant, so I knew something was going on. I know that morning pee is the "best" so I decided to take one more (final) hpt.

This time, I'm washing my hands, and waiting with squinting eyes and anticipating what I know is about to happen...

It says "Pregnant"!!!!! What? Where's the "not" that was in front of that just 3 days ago!?!?!?!?

So what does any insanely freaked out mamma do at 4 am when she discoveres she pregnant and going to have 2 kids 14 months apart??? She wakes up her husband with huge eyes, and tells him.

He tells me not to panic or cry, and then instructs me to get back in bed with him, where he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

Let me just stop here to say that during that moment, I remember feeling so weak in the knees I thought I would faint while walking from the bathroom to the bedroom. I seriously have never experienced that deep of an emotion of "Oh my goodness, what are we going to do?" until that moment.

So I lay there in bed wide awake, with Thehubs sound asleep and hold me tightly....thinking.

"God, I can't handle this."
"How can I handle TWO babies? I'm just now getting the hang of ONE!?!"
"I'm going to have to quit work..."
"How can we afford for me to quit work, what am I thinking??"
"We've GOT to find a bigger place to live. There's no way I'm living in this TINY apartment with 2 kids!"

And so on and so forth my mind raced....

But then, it's like all of a sudden God reassured me, saying that HE is still in control, and that I need not worry about anything. HE has it all planned out already, so I just need to rest in Him and let me give me the strength I need to get through each day.

So I did....and I have been. I do have my moments where I get really tied up in the selfish thinking of how my life is about to get 10 times more difficult, and that my body is about to experience everything all over again when I'm just now starting to feel normal again..
But I'm always reminded that there are so many women who would love to be in my shoes, and who are just begging to have 1 child. So I thank Jesus for this opportunity and I pray for strength.

I know that this baby is being formed in my womb for God's glory, and that he or she will be another huge blessing in our family. It's all still very hard to believe and to take in, but I can't wait! EJ is going to be such a big brother, and my prayer is that this baby is healthy and loving just like his/her big brother!

Here we go.....January 29th is the big day (tentatively).



Now the word is out, after I kept my mouth shut for about 6 weeks. We went to the Dr on June 29th for my ultrasound that I demanded requested to have to make sure it wasn't twins I was only as far along as I thought. I have gained weight my quicker (which is apparently normal for the 2nd time around) and was just concerned that I was further along than expected.

So the ultrasound actually showed that instead of being 10 weeks (at the time), that I was actually only 8 weeks! My due date was bumped back to February 7th, and I was kinda relieved that we have 2 extra weeks to "prepare"....haha yeah right.

HOWEVER....I've been SOOO terribly sick, that I wish I had those 2 weeks back and was now 12 weeks instead of 10. I would be seeing the light at the end of the 1st-trimester-tunnel but now I have several more weeks left.
With EJ, I think I started feeling better around 14 weeks, so I guess I have about another month.

TheHubs did find something to semi-cure this morning all day sickness. POWERADE!! It's done wonders!

So also at 10 weeks (what I thought was 12), my emotions are much more in tact about having this 2nd baby. We're so excited, and I can't wait to see what adventures live brings! I've heard the 1st year will be chaos, but I know it will fly by!!

10 weeks down....30 to go!