Sunday, December 23, 2012

Catch up on EJ

Just a few random facts about little EJ and all he is now getting in to- number style. Ohhh he's a mess. We try to capture some of it on camera, but of course he stops as soon as we try. Maybe one day...

1.  The number of naps he now takes per day.

2.  The number of his books he has destroyed. So far.

3. The number of cookies, crackers, etc. he has to have at 1 time-one for his mouth, & one for each hand.

4.  The number of full-fledge-fits he probably throws per day. As in, flop back on the floor, hitting his head and everything and screaming to the top of his lungs. I just look at him and walk away....

5. The number of spankings it usually takes in a row for him to figure out he's NOT supposed to be doing something.


15. The number of wipes he can pull out of the package in a matter of seconds.

45. The number of seconds it takes for my son to figure out how to open his closet doors and take out all the clothes mommy just put up.

Other random things he's in to:

* Climbs on EVERYTHING- coffee table, high chair, couch, baby gate, etc.
* He goes running to the gate at the top of our stairs every time he hears the door open (which is at the bottom of the stairs)...especially when mommy or daddy comes home.
* He gives good ol' full open-mouth kisses. The kind that gets slobber all over your entire face. Their delicious. =)
* He hits. A lot. But it's out of excitement- so I'm not exactly sure how to make this stop.
* He loves pretty much anything you feed him. Except real fruit...guess it's a texture thing.

He melts my heart every day. Thehubs and I are so very blessed to have him as our son! He turned ONE just a little over a month ago, and I know before I blink again, I'll be planning his 2nd birthday party!

Little sister will be here very within 5-6 weeks soon!! EJ has no clue what's going on, but I know he'll be the best big brother!

Friday, October 12, 2012

We're here!

Well we've officially been at our new place for almost a week now. So far so good. The week has absolutely flown by, which I didn't want to happen. I start my new job on Monday, and will be working full time (M-F) for 5-6 weeks being trained.

Let me just say that I haven't worked 40 hours out of the home ever. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. I'm a little scared about this, but at least I know that there's an end in sight and will soon be working weekends and staying home with my baby boy during the weeks. Soooo yeah, I know I'm going to be absolutely exhausted- especially since my lower back feels like my right hip is dislocated at times when I'm on my feet. Hopefully I'll get used to it pretty quickly. And of course I know it could be much much worse!

Back to the new place. It is sooo much bigger and EJ has loved walking around EVERYWHERE. We've had to purchase a new baby gate because we have stairs. It's kinda weird...we are an upstairs apartment, but instead of the stairs being on the outside of the building, you enter our front door at ground level, and then their's a small foyer area with stairs that go up to the apartment. It's really pretty with high ceilings and everything, but not so safe with a toddler walking everywhere.
So I found an "extra wide and extra tall" baby gate from Target, and TheHubs installed it last night. It makes me feel MUCH better, and lets just hope EJ doesn't try to climb on it any time soon.

In baby news, I'm now 23 weeks along, and feeling good for the most part. Little Miss is growing well, and moving all the time. Yeah, it's a girl...I don't think I even posted about that experience. Maybe I'll get around to that one day. She's already going to think I'm a horrible mom because I haven't even taken any "belly pictures" while pregnant with her....and I think I took them about 1x per month with EJ. Oh, well, 2nd baby syndrome  I know. lol

February is quickly approaching and I can't wait to meet her!! Can't believe we're about to be a family of FOUR!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Leaning on Him

Emotions have been getting the best of me here lately. One minute, I'm so excited about the big move, and another, I'm petrified and crying.

I know Satan is certainly trying to win the battle of my mind, and captivate my thoughts. It's a tough battle to fight these days. And without me filling my head (and heart) with scripture as I should, he does win (briefly) at times.

I put in my notice at work, and as of October 4th, I will no longer be employed with Gateway. I've been with them almost 3 and a half years (which is a long time in the Social Work world), so it's going to be bitter sweet to leave. They're definitely a wonderful company to work for....

With that being said, I've applied for about 15+ jobs in the Huntsville area. I still have several other places to look into thanks to the recommendations of so many people helping me out. Job hunting freaks me out a know, especially since I haven't done it since being fresh out of college, and since I'm pregnant and everything.
I KNOW the law says I can't be discriminated against, but come know pregnant women often are when it comes to job hunting.

THEN comes the financial side of moving.....

We are getting a "moving expense bonus" or something like that from Thehub's work, so that will certainly help. But on the flip side, I think of all of the deposits for our utilities as well as the fact that we're pretty much having to pay rent in 2 places for the month of October...PLUS the whopping "early termination fee" for breaking our apartment lease.

"Any other worries?" you might ask. Well of course!!!

You see, here in the Bham, we have some family support. My brother lives close and helps out occasionally as well as Thehub's mom and my cousin. Without the 3 of them, I'd probably have gotten fired a long time ago from my job for not being able to do everything.
In Huntsville.....we'll have NOBODY!! Thehub's mom says she will come when needed, but probably won't be able to make the drive every week as she does now.

So daycare/ Mother's Day out it is. I've already prepared myself for this, and honestly it's not a huge concern right now.  Once I get a job, that will be another story. Did I mention I'm having a baby in February, and that would mean TWO in daycare of some sort?!?!?!

So those are the thoughts that run wild in my head, and bring me to tears everything I let them consume me. But you know what? My God is bigger than those issues. My God knows what tomorrow holds despite all of my "what ifs".  I am trusting in Him to provide all of these things.

We know He is leading us to Huntsville, and has opened so many doors already. He will continued to provide for us.

This morning at church, we sang an old hymn that literally brought me to tears. It came to mind one day last week as I was singing EJ to I sang the chorus to him. I think God just knew I needed to be reminded of it once again today.
I don' think I've ever had to trust The Lord as I am now.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms- click HERE to listen.

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms?
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

So I think I will just LEAN on Him.....

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The unknown

The unknown is one of the scariest things if you ask me. Not knowing where you will be living in the next few months...yep, one of the biggest things that freaks me out.

Thehubs has known for about 2 months now that there would be a possibility that he would have to relocate for his job. Granted, we wouldn't have to go far...we're talking about 2 hours from where we are, but the possibility has been there, but it's all been left out in the open and a whole bunch of "what ifs".

Without getting into all of the details, there has been talk of him getting one of 2 or 3 different positions, and only 1 of them consisted of us having to move. But it started out being the strongest possibility, and would dwindle away several times....and back again.

Just in the past week, I've went through the emotions of the whole moving thing being tossed back and forth. Thehubs was told that he pretty much would be placed at one of the positions here locally, and then BOOM the next day he was told that the other one was "hot" again.

You see, he's in the security business, and is an Account Manager right now. His goal one day is to be an Operations Manager, and we're so almost there because he is SUCH an amazing hard worker!!

So today, I've been looking at apartments in the area which we will very likely have to be moving (Montgomery). It's all kind of hit home and I'm trying to accept it.

Our original plans were to just move about 1/2 way there and I would keep my job, and we would still be fairly close to our parents. But his boss informed him today that he needed to be within 30-40 minutes of the place in case something goes wrong. (i.e.  in case he has to go in and cover for one of his employees that didn't show up, or go take care of something they screwed up).
So there goes the plans....again.

I mean really, God, I PROMISE I'm learning trust....I don't think I need any more life lessons.=)

We haven't "broken" the news to anybody yet...mainly because nothing is 100% certain. (which is what's DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!)

Today is August 20th as I write this, and I'm not sure when we'll know for sure. Until then, I'm thinking I'm just going to begin preparing to move. And I've been realizing how much this entails.

*Changing doctors (possibly even my OB...would I have to deliver Baby2 at a dif hospital1?!?)
*Finding yet another church (just when we're starting to find our niche here)
*Finding friends
*Me and my job....I have NO CLUE what I would do...
*Being about 3 1/2 hours away from my family
*Being 2 hours away from Thehub's mom
*Figuring out a new area

I mean, I know people do it all the time, but this little mamma has only moved from home to college (as far as major city changes) and has never ever had to make such "adult" decisions such as this.

Lots or prayer has been taking place. We'll see how it all plays out.....eventually.


On Sunday, 8/26 TheHubs got a phone call that changed everything. An Operations Manager resigned in Huntsville, and he was offered that position. DUH, that's been his goal all along, so he jumped on it.

So I get a text while at a Bridal Tea that day saying "Well I'm an ops manager now"

Since then, we have found an apartment up in that area, put in our notice where we are now, and I plan to put in my notice at work tomorrow morning. They sorta know I'll be leaving, and I'm pretty sure my boss is very much aware now since I asked to meet with him tomorrow morning about something.

PLEASE PLEASE be in prayer about my job. I've applied for several positions already, and continue to look daily for social work positions in that area. TheHubs will be able to do a lot of his work from home, but childcare continues to be a huge concern for me as well.

As I've told several people over the past week, if I were to actually sit down and stress about all there is to figure out, I'd just curl up in the fetal position and cry. It's a lot that has to be figured out, but I know God is leading us here and has already provided in so many ways.

Some realizations I've had about moving is that, yes I'll have to change pediatricians for my kiddos. I'll also be changing area codes, which freaked me out a little....AND news stations!!! WHAT?!?! No more James Spann when tornadoes are coming!?!?! I just don't know how we'll survive!!

Good news is that we're almost doubling our living space, and will have a 3 bedroom/2 bath apartment! Praise Jesus for more room!!!

I'll try and continue to update as things get closer. Oct 19th is the tentative move-in date. TheHubs wants to move sooner though because he's having to drive back and forth almost everyday until then.

So in the next 5 months, we'll be moving, I'll hopefully get a new job, we'll celebrate EJ's 1st birthday, AND I'll be having ANOTHER baby!! :)

What an adventure!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Here we go again!

Yep, here we go again. I'm knocked up. Again. Pregnant....just 6 months after giving birth to my 1st born.

This is not exactly how Thehubs and I planned our lives, but it is definitely all how God planned it! Just when we think we have everything under control, BOOM, God assures us that HE is still the one in control, and that I don't need to try and do anything without him.

This definitely came as a humungous shock to us, especially after having THREE false negative home pregnancy tests. I sorta just knew something was going on, and that I had to be preggers since Mother Nature has never ever let me skip out on her monthly visits my entire life.

So what happened was..... I weaned EJ off of the boobies right around his 5 month birthday (in April)....right about that same time, I straight up, completely and totally forgot to get my BC filled to start taking it after Mother Nature's visit.
I didn't realize this until about 5-6 days after I was supposed to start the pack, and at that point it was too late to start. We both decided that we didn't even like the effects of birth control (it always made me sick) and that SURELY we wouldn't get pregnant just this one month of being off of it since it took us a while to get pregnant with EJ.  We decided to just "be careful."

Apparently, you're Fertile-Myrtle when your wean your baby....

Well well well. Here we are. I'm 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant (although I won't post this until MUCH later).
When MN didn't come after 2 days, I took a hpt and it was negative...then about 3 days later I took another. Again, negative.
So then I bought some DIGITAL ones, but at this point I was a week late, and determined to get an answer (which I already knew in my head.)

So I took one of those....NEGATIVE again!!! What in the world is going on with me!?!? I remember telling Thehubs that either I was pregnant or the bc messed up my body and I wasn't going to have periods anymore.

Well, Tuesday morning (May 29th) roles around and I woke up at 4am and had to pee. I have NEVER had to pee in the middle of the night other than when I was pregnant, so I knew something was going on. I know that morning pee is the "best" so I decided to take one more (final) hpt.

This time, I'm washing my hands, and waiting with squinting eyes and anticipating what I know is about to happen...

It says "Pregnant"!!!!! What? Where's the "not" that was in front of that just 3 days ago!?!?!?!?

So what does any insanely freaked out mamma do at 4 am when she discoveres she pregnant and going to have 2 kids 14 months apart??? She wakes up her husband with huge eyes, and tells him.

He tells me not to panic or cry, and then instructs me to get back in bed with him, where he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

Let me just stop here to say that during that moment, I remember feeling so weak in the knees I thought I would faint while walking from the bathroom to the bedroom. I seriously have never experienced that deep of an emotion of "Oh my goodness, what are we going to do?" until that moment.

So I lay there in bed wide awake, with Thehubs sound asleep and hold me tightly....thinking.

"God, I can't handle this."
"How can I handle TWO babies? I'm just now getting the hang of ONE!?!"
"I'm going to have to quit work..."
"How can we afford for me to quit work, what am I thinking??"
"We've GOT to find a bigger place to live. There's no way I'm living in this TINY apartment with 2 kids!"

And so on and so forth my mind raced....

But then, it's like all of a sudden God reassured me, saying that HE is still in control, and that I need not worry about anything. HE has it all planned out already, so I just need to rest in Him and let me give me the strength I need to get through each day.

So I did....and I have been. I do have my moments where I get really tied up in the selfish thinking of how my life is about to get 10 times more difficult, and that my body is about to experience everything all over again when I'm just now starting to feel normal again..
But I'm always reminded that there are so many women who would love to be in my shoes, and who are just begging to have 1 child. So I thank Jesus for this opportunity and I pray for strength.

I know that this baby is being formed in my womb for God's glory, and that he or she will be another huge blessing in our family. It's all still very hard to believe and to take in, but I can't wait! EJ is going to be such a big brother, and my prayer is that this baby is healthy and loving just like his/her big brother!

Here we go.....January 29th is the big day (tentatively).



Now the word is out, after I kept my mouth shut for about 6 weeks. We went to the Dr on June 29th for my ultrasound that I demanded requested to have to make sure it wasn't twins I was only as far along as I thought. I have gained weight my quicker (which is apparently normal for the 2nd time around) and was just concerned that I was further along than expected.

So the ultrasound actually showed that instead of being 10 weeks (at the time), that I was actually only 8 weeks! My due date was bumped back to February 7th, and I was kinda relieved that we have 2 extra weeks to "prepare"....haha yeah right.

HOWEVER....I've been SOOO terribly sick, that I wish I had those 2 weeks back and was now 12 weeks instead of 10. I would be seeing the light at the end of the 1st-trimester-tunnel but now I have several more weeks left.
With EJ, I think I started feeling better around 14 weeks, so I guess I have about another month.

TheHubs did find something to semi-cure this morning all day sickness. POWERADE!! It's done wonders!

So also at 10 weeks (what I thought was 12), my emotions are much more in tact about having this 2nd baby. We're so excited, and I can't wait to see what adventures live brings! I've heard the 1st year will be chaos, but I know it will fly by!!

10 weeks down....30 to go!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Our life in pictures

Just want to let y'all know we're still alive! :) life is very busy for me lately... Working full time and being a Mary Kay beauty consultant part time is tough. But worth it all in the end- bc it's all for a precious little boy and his wonderful daddy!
I'm sitting here now rocking the fellow and know my time is limited. Therefore, I'll share pics from the past few weeks.

First time eating Pears....he wasn't too excited about it them, but now he loves them! (Along with anything else we give him to eat!)

Yum Yum! He loves to eat his feet!

Cute little man Easter morning on our way to church.

My brother playing with his favorite (only) nephew. :) 

Daddy lovin'

Family photo! 

This is what I found when leaving him for 5 seconds....

The burp cloths WERE folded neatly in a stack, guessed it...I turned my back on him. =)

Playing with his new football... 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Top 10 for moms

Top 10 things every new mother should know- but that nobody wants to tell you:

10. There's no such thing as routine anymore. Just when you think you've got it all figured out -BAM- a growth spurt hits, or you go out of town for the weekend. And then you spend the next week getting it all figured out again.

9. Never EVER put on your clothes prior to having the baby dressed and in the car seat...unless you want  spit-up all over your freshly washed shirt. (Which took you 2 days to actually get washed, dried, AND put away.)

8. Let go of those expectations that your house will remain clean as it did pre-baby. Trust me on this one- I used to CLEAN every single my teeny-tiny apartment hasn't been cleaned in the past 3 months!

7. You can read all the books out there on how to make your baby happy, how to have the perfect sleep routine, and everything else you need to do as a new mommy. NONE of them will fit your baby 100%. You do what works for you, and if somebody doesn't like it, then they can just....well maybe I should just stop there. 

6. After eagerly waiting the 6 weeks after birth to get the "all clear" from your sucks. I'm's painful!  I guess I had in my head that since I wasn't in pain anymore, then I was 100% healed. WRONG! And when I called the nurse about this around 10 weeks postpartum, and explained that my baby was 8 lb 12 oz, she almost screamed at me and told me that of course it would still hurt...I had a big baby and lots of "trauma" went on down there. It does get better with time...and a little something else. lol

5.  The "linea nigra" AKA, that huge dark line stretching from your hoo-ha up to your ta-tas does NOT go away any time soon. I guess I had it in my mind that it would magically disappear once the little man was out of my belly....little did I know that most online forums that I've read say it takes up to a year!!!! 

4. Pre-baby-weight does NOT equal pre-baby-body!! Seriously, those skinny jeans may barely snap around your belly, but when you look in the mirror you completely grasp the meaning of "muffin-top". And you also have no time to work out to eliminate that extra layer of flab, so it's baggy clothes, and lots of layers! 

3. Babies spit up vomit. Apparently this is normal, unless it's done "excessively"...and what 1st time parent doesn't think 1 time is excessive?!?! The biggest factor that contributed to EJ's vomiting was eating too much. It's hard to tell when breast feeding exactly how much is being taken in...and a LOT of things appear to be hunger cues when they're tiny. You just learn as you go here...

2. Remember when your mom said she could never go to the bathroom in private because the kids interrupted. Well, this is SO true even from the beginning! I swear, every time I take a shower or have to pee, TheHubs insists that EJ needs me immediately.

1. Hemorrhoids are a real pain in the butt. I thought that I would magically be the one who didn't have to suffer through this part of labor and delivery, but boy was I wrong! And they don't go away any time soon....TWO months for me to be exact. And every minute sucks!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Praying head to toe

This was in my daily devotion that I get from Bible Just thought I'd share. 

Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe:
  • His Head –That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:13)
  • His Mind - That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
  • His Eyes –That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turnhis eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13Mark 9:47)
  • His Ears - That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12Psalm 32:8)
  • His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Psalm 19:14)
  • His Neck –That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)
  • His Heart-That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5Proverbs 3:5)
  • His Arms-That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)
  • His Hands-That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)
  • His feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25Psalm 26:3)

Love Story

Why not continue with the spirit of Valentine's day by sharing your love story?!? I must say, that TheHubs' and my story is one of my favorites! :)

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
June will be 5 years since we started dating..

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}
Ohhh goodness, where do I begin?

You see, his sister and brother-in-law were the youth ministers at my church from the time I was 14 until my senior year of high school. TheHubs would often come visit his sister, and so I knew of him through her. 
She told me from the get-go that I was going to marry her brother. I seriously never believed her because he's 7 years a few years older. Thehubs also had a crush on me after seeing a picture of me in a beauty pageant...little did he know my age as well. lol My dad of course would never let me date him due to the age difference, so nothing happened until I was in college. 
April 2006, I had just ended a crazy insane relationship, and Thehubs found out and made a move. He got my number while I was driving him back to his car one night after an Easter program at church, and we began dating round 1 at that point.

I broke things off after a month or too....honestly because I thought he was too good for me.

Over the next year, I devoted my life to just being single and focusing on my relationship with The Lord. Thehubs said he devoted his life to praying for just one more date with me!

So Spring 2007, he convinced me to go with him to a Celtic Woman Concert in Atlanta "just as friends." I honestly think the both of us were going in to it thinking it would just be a fun day as friends hanging out. But UH OH....from the moment I saw him that morning, I was falling head over heals. Something was different...
The rest is history...

3. If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell}
June 6th will be 3 years of marital

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?  If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small?
We got married outside at my parent's house. Sounds like a small wedding, but we had 150-175 guests. It was the most beautiful wedding ever, if you ask me! A Dessert reception was in the back yard as the sun was setting, with dancing and music to top it off. 

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!
Not any serious nick-names. We do call each other "baby" and "babe" a lot, but who doesn't'??

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
How about FIFTY-TWO things!?!?! 

7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?
He had arranged for me to come to his apartment to help his sister put together a computer desk for his birthday. Or at least that's what I thought. When I got there, our song was playing in the background, and there was a note on the oven written on a paper towel telling me how much he loves me and can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me. It then instructed me to go to the bedroom for a surprise. 
I walked into the bedroom to see him on his knee, with the ring waiting for me. I believe his actual words were "Heather, you are the love of my life..will you take it one step further and become my wife?" 
I know....precious!! =)

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberrieschampagne, and rose petals?
Um, I guess a flowers and teddy bear if I had to choose, but really neither one. He's more of a dinner some place nice kind of guy...
9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
These days I've become more of a pop a movie in and relax kind of girl...and I'd probably fall asleep..

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
I'd love to either go on a cruise some place amazing, or go to St. Lucia island like we had originally planned for our honeymoon...

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.
I plan on working all day. I believe Thehubs also has to work. We actually plan on celebrating Wednesday night when his mom comes to watch the baby and we're gonna go out somewhere nice to eat.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?
Nope, just some alone time with my man....and for him to be all sweet to me.

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
I have so much advice that I love to give to newly weds. I believe the biggest though is to never EVER let "divorce" be a part of your vocabulary. It's not even an option. E.V.E.R.
Also, live by 1 Peter 3:1-6. Read it often, and actually do what it says. Submit....I should get better at that...Respect him always. Have a gentle and quiet spirit...

14.  Show us a picture of what love means to you.
Can you tell he had NO sleep?? This was day 3 of baby boy's life....and my hubby was so sacrificially taking care of him while I waddled very carefully around the hospital room getting some of or our stuff together to go home. 

Ok, go on over to From Mrs to Mamma and share your story too! 

Saturday, February 11, 2012

DIY gift

I'm really not the crafty type, nor do I ever really make gifts myself. But I hot a little creative this year for Valentines Day and decided to make TheHubs' gift myself. :)
"52 Things I love about You"
My cousin, Danielle, said she did it for her hubby a few years ago and so I thought I could pull it off this year. Plus, with a little one around, I must admit I haven't been as affectionate and verbal about my love for him. So here's the big reveal... I know I'm safe posting this bc he NEVER reads my. blog. At least that I know of. :)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

12 weeks!

I'll start by saying one thing I've learned over the past month since being back at work full time.

Being a working mom... Heck, being a mom in general means you don't get time to sleep as long as you want or go and do as you please. Both if those were regularly done prior to having a baby. But please don't get me wrong... I absolutely love every single minute of it. I never knew you could possibly function on such little sleep...

So what's happened over the past month? Well we went for our 2 month check up and Mr EJ is certainly a big boy!

At 2 months he was 25" long and 14 lb 15 oz!!
He was off the charts on height, and over the 95th percentile in his weight! DrB was very proud of both mommy and baby for the good growth. I'm still breast feeding exclusively and I'm so thankful that I've been able to do so. I've thought several times about giving up bc it's so stressful at times, but just when I think that I realize how much more stress it would be to constantly be washing bottles and mixing formula.

I hate washing the 1-2 bottles along with my pumping stuff everyday as if us so i can only imagine how much I'd hate it if we formula fed.

Today marks 12 weeks since the little fellow was born and time just keeps flying by.

*EJ is now trying to hold up his head on own. He no longer just flops it forward when you sit him up to burp. He thinks he has to see the world.

*He has just started squirming around more in his bed throughout the night. Still not rolling over or anything, but when I go to get him up he has maneuvered himself to be turned sideways and over on the right side if the crib. This made the angel monitor go off the other night and scared the mess out if me!

* EJ loves play time. Ever since he was born he has loved to just lay on the floor and kick his legs and play. That is still true today. Sometimes he'll even get fussy when being held and cuddled bc he just wants to be put down so he can play. He loves to play with his rattle, and has started reaching for things a little. For example, he now hold on to my arm during diaper changes, and he'll sometimes reach for the rattle too.

* We are in size 6 month clothes and some of his 6 month sleepers are getting too small. His little feet are shoved all the way to the edge and I know it can't be comfortable when he wants to stretch out. Looks like we'll be making the move to 6-9 and 9 month clothes very soon.

* Nap times are a chore. Since my work schedule us kinda random, he stays at home with either me, Thehuns, his mom or my cousin. With all that in the mix it's hard to have consistency.

*He wants to laugh so bad! I love tickling him and he'll give me ons giggle, but that's about it for now.

I guess I'll wrap this up instead of putting you all to sleep, but of course not before I leave you with lots of adorable pictures!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Back to work

Ok, so I officially went back to work full time last week. And my goodness, it's already stressful! I thought the whole point of me going back part time for a few weeks was for me to ease into it all, but I feel like I'm just being thrown back into it now.
I had 2 cases while working 1/2 time in December...and last week opened 2 more...and had 2 more assigned to me! So that puts me at my max (6). I'll probably open up the other 2 this week, and that stresses me beyond belief.

It's really not being away from him that stresses me, but rather breast feeding exclusively. I've honestly had thoughts of giving up tonight, but then tell myself that I can do it! I have a great supply, and pump most nights when he feeds to get enough for one feeding. Last week he took about 1 bottle per day. This next week, he'll probably have to take 2 bottles Tuesday morning, and 2 more that evening...and probably at least 1 on Wednesday. Thursday will be another day of probably 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening of bottles. Both days I hope to be home for the afternoon feeding, but my luck I'll be home for the tad bit in between feedings. Hopefully not....

I guess I'll be taking my pump with me on long days to pump in the car. (I'm always on the road, hardly ever in the office.)  Which means I need to buy an adapter so I can plug it into the cigarette lighter, and lots more storage bags. But of course that's much cheaper than formula! lol

Another HUGE stressor is the whole thing of making sure somebody can watch him. I never realized how stressful that would be either. It's so much harder too since both of our parents work, and we live an hour away from all of my family. TheHubs is able to watch him a lot, but then again he has to work full time too! His schedule is about to change, which will provide more consistency. I'm convinced that will help, as I'll then be able to work my visits around his schedule. My mother-in-law and cousin help out A TON, which I will forever be grateful for! I just feel like I'm constantly worrying about figuring out who can watch him, and if I need to cancel visits or whatever...but I know it'll all work out. Worse case scenario, I cancel a visit or reschedule something. That's what's great about my job- I don't have any set hours, and can work when I want long as I see  my families twice per week and get my paperwork done.

Ok, so I know it will all get better with time. I just feel so stressed right now, if you can't tell. Please pray I can stick with the whole breastfeeding thing, as I really don't want to give up just because of work. I think that's stupid. It honestly makes me sad and feel really guilty when he has to drink out of a bottle...and I don't think I realized that until now. I feel bad when somebody else has to worry about warming a bottle and feeding that I'm the only one that should be doing that or something. Maybe those feelings will pass- especially since I've just realized it and can work on moving past the irrational thoughts that I'm a horrible mother for working and making my baby drink from a bottle.

Sorry about all the ranting....