Ok, so who all is with me when I say that the Christian life is so easy to become a big ol' roller coaster- with ups and downs ups and downs?!!?
That's how I feel right now. I'm so frustrated with myself, because I KNOW the desire God has for me to spend time with Him and to grow closer to Him. I see it all around me everyday, but I often look the other way. I KNOW that the days I do spend sitting at His feet in prayer and reading Scripture, that my attitude about life is totally different. I show love to Thehubs in a much more sincere way, and the work I do is out of love, not dread.
Earlier this week I heard a country song on the radio that says "When the on you love's in love with someone else. Don't you know it's torture, I mean it's a living hell."
I thought to myself- wow, i bet that's how the Lord feels about me loving other things more than him. It breaks his heart, it makes him so sad and i know He wants me all to himself.
But what did I do about that thought- NOTHING. I just kept living my good ol' selfish life.
So this morning, I sit down determined to read my Bible. (Which I've yet to do...) And I just feel so lost as far as where to start. Do you ever get that way?
I used to never get like this....but then again, I used to never go this long without being in the Word daily. I'm sure there's a correlation there.
I'm so frustrated...I hate just opening the Bible and saying, okay, today I'll read this. I want to dig in, I want to grow closer to Him. But is this Him teaching me that I have to start over? That I'm not as spiritually mature as I once was, so therefore I need some of the basics before I can dig in deep? I'm not sure.
Thoughts, comments on this would be appreciated. Especially if you've been where I am. Or, if you know of any great resources for Bible Study that isn't crazy expensive.
Time to sit down in my Savior's lap and just let him love on me, while I start over again. Isn't it great how we can do that everyday and His love for us never ever changes?!?!?