Top 10 for moms

Top 10 things every new mother should know- but that nobody wants to tell you:

10. There's no such thing as routine anymore. Just when you think you've got it all figured out -BAM- a growth spurt hits, or you go out of town for the weekend. And then you spend the next week getting it all figured out again.

9. Never EVER put on your clothes prior to having the baby dressed and in the car seat...unless you want  spit-up all over your freshly washed shirt. (Which took you 2 days to actually get washed, dried, AND put away.)

8. Let go of those expectations that your house will remain clean as it did pre-baby. Trust me on this one- I used to CLEAN every single week...now my teeny-tiny apartment hasn't been cleaned in the past 3 months!

7. You can read all the books out there on how to make your baby happy, how to have the perfect sleep routine, and everything else you need to do as a new mommy. NONE of them will fit your baby 100%. You do what works for you, and if somebody doesn't like it, then they can just....well maybe I should just stop there. 

6. After eagerly waiting the 6 weeks after birth to get the "all clear" from your doctor...sex sucks. I'm serious...it's painful!  I guess I had in my head that since I wasn't in pain anymore, then I was 100% healed. WRONG! And when I called the nurse about this around 10 weeks postpartum, and explained that my baby was 8 lb 12 oz, she almost screamed at me and told me that of course it would still hurt...I had a big baby and lots of "trauma" went on down there. It does get better with time...and a little something else. lol

5.  The "linea nigra" AKA, that huge dark line stretching from your hoo-ha up to your ta-tas does NOT go away any time soon. I guess I had it in my mind that it would magically disappear once the little man was out of my belly....little did I know that most online forums that I've read say it takes up to a year!!!! 

4. Pre-baby-weight does NOT equal pre-baby-body!! Seriously, those skinny jeans may barely snap around your belly, but when you look in the mirror you completely grasp the meaning of "muffin-top". And you also have no time to work out to eliminate that extra layer of flab, so it's baggy clothes, and lots of layers! 

3. Babies spit up vomit. Apparently this is normal, unless it's done "excessively"...and what 1st time parent doesn't think 1 time is excessive?!?! The biggest factor that contributed to EJ's vomiting was eating too much. It's hard to tell when breast feeding exactly how much is being taken in...and a LOT of things appear to be hunger cues when they're tiny. You just learn as you go here...

2. Remember when your mom said she could never go to the bathroom in private because the kids interrupted. Well, this is SO true even from the beginning! I swear, every time I take a shower or have to pee, TheHubs insists that EJ needs me immediately.

1. Hemorrhoids are a real pain in the butt. I thought that I would magically be the one who didn't have to suffer through this part of labor and delivery, but boy was I wrong! And they don't go away any time soon....TWO months for me to be exact. And every minute sucks!